untitled, insignificant.

I've just spent the last hour completely lost in reminisce.
I like remembering
who I used to be, what I've left behind.

I don't know what to tell you, so nothing will be told.

currently obsessed with Beyoncé

I'm not sure how much more beautiful a woman can get. She's got an amazing voice and success to match. She's defied the ruthlessness of changing charts and has yet to fall into the artiste obsoletes category, selling out concerts and wowing audiences worldwide, I've wager she's never disappointed at her concerts.

My today is a big fan of Beyoncé. I'm mindlessly hypnotised by her videos at the moment.

Hopefully I'll be able to afford her next concert...

oh crumbs! my incredible edible.

Say Hello to the newest baked cheesecake advocate in town.

& while you're saying hello, say happy birthday to Father (17th oct).

ps: my dad's a genius, nobody has a handier hand, a greener thumb or a more atheistically pleasing backyard. Bite me.

The real deal

Today I happened upon an organisational clutch with a little bit of character.


This baby contained a faded receipt dated 11-08-96, a small red comb and three coins: two 2c pieces and one 1c piece.

I thought it was a pretty sweet deal for $2. So the $2 I spent, along with another $18 which included 2 necklaces, one earring, one keychain bottle opener, two vintage-ish (I presume and hope are leather) bags, one vinyl, a collar-less jacket, an old-school cardigan and a strangely shaped "sweet good girl" looking retro jumper. Sort of the thing you could imagine Sandra Dee wearing whilst she was naive and innocent.

I've been accumulating a separate wardrobe lately, and have run out of coat-hangers. If you care, I accept donations of coat hangers.

I'll shut up and drive now.

Consider a couple of men and inhale appreciation.

He's a handsome sort of bugger with a little bit of charm
Had I already met him, I'd be on his arm.

Having glanced a photo of a friend of mine (yes, facebook is great for the mindless browsing of photos), I was amused by my sudden realisation that this said friend of mine had a very handsome face, which reminded me of my grandfather. In the last family trip to Malaysia, upon reunion with my father's father, I was astonished at how handsome my grandfather was and wondered how I'd never noticed before. It made me wonder how he must have looked in his youth. Allow me to regale my last memory of him: a sun-spotted, heavily-tanned, soft but wrinkled skin, forever singlet clad, well endowed with generous sort of beer-gut, neither short nor tall, fat not thin sort of man. I just know that his life, as expressed by his 80 something nature was riddled with pain - and every visit sort of sank my heart. He was imprisoned by his heavy dependency for assistance as his body lately manifested complaints from a lifetime of hard labour, confining him to his bamboo chair in front of hours of television. He was not happy, he was just existing. And although it sounds harsh of me to have drawn this sort of conclusion, I'm sure he would agree. He was respected but not loved, not nearly enough. I've never faced such a hard life as I imagine he has. I've heard snippets of my parent's lives and can hardly begin to understand that of my grandparents. Perhaps I should, it would probably make me appreciate the much that I have considerably more.

Life is vain, save the moments we spend reflecting on the lives of our predecessors and successors. I'd say it is these moments that fuel our desires to improve, to evolve, to make worthwhile changes so that those who lived before us can be justified and so those who come after us can have better.

Well, this post turned out nothing like I expected it to. Oh, the words take on a life of their own!

I love the Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue variations-ens-ens endlessness.

When insecure and vulnerably malleable, I find myself envious of a few people I know little about. I'll mention one, because he's hardly troubled and often given beautiful opportunities I could never imagine. He is superficial as superficial sells and as suave as necessary to engage his audience. So I will dedicate this poem to him:

Your row-s are read
Uncouth yet cool
They make me wish
At times I were you

"hey do you have the time? and umm, will you marry me?"

y'know today there was a chance I walked passed my husband-to-be. Just getting it out there, you never know!

I emailed my lecturer today asking what would happen if i failed this subject...



I heard this on the radio today and it made me laugh!

To whom it may concern: my father is wonderful, he's been working so hard to keep the family in order while the mother holidays in Malaysia (truly asia). I watched "The secret millionaire" with him today and think I'll watch beauty and the geek with the sister when she returns from work.

updates

I started cleaning up my bedroom floor today....slowly organising my books and the junk under my bed, dumping a handful of discovered clothes into the laundry pile, tying up a bag and a half of rubbish and gathering piles of paper to send along the recycle, all the while sitting deep in daydreams. I also managed to take a squiz at the saturday paper. I hardly read the paper nowadays. A year ago I used to flick eagerly through the moth gray pages with scissors in hand, intent only on cutting out interesting headlines- that strange obsession eased up because I didn't quite know what to do with the headlines once they were cut so they sit dormant in a green manilla folder to this day.

Anyway, these things I only do when I have better things to do. It seems my assignments can wait. Why is it like this? I'll see my children tomorrow. I went to a really good sale today but because I was so rushed I hardly got time to revel in my victorious finds.
ps: I weigh 57kg according to my electronic scale :) I'm about 3kg away from my desire to acquaint myself with the sixties. "Oh, she got meat on her, this one!"

Oh yes, and I've found the make-shift dress I think I'll wear to Elton&Nila's wedding. Cost me a buck. I'm getting real good at being poor yet without having to relinquish frequent shopping habits, but I won't deny I miss being completely financially independant and being able to afford eating out without tasting remorse, but that's just crumbs of humble pie that go down very smoothly :)

I've started organising christmas! It's been a great procrastination task! I figured if I do it gradually, the pinch won't be so painful come december and I'll have time to be creative and thoughtful about gifts. whoo! Last christmas I earned more than I ever had in the history of my life, but I retained none of the nine hundred and something. I was very unwise in my spendage. So the challenge this year is how to keep christmas controlled, thoughtful and similarly generous without exceeding three five oh or forgetting the real reason for christmas.

I'm going to read up on what assignment 2 of 3 is about.

I'll see my kids tomorrow. I'll also be seeing my God.
I'm excited...

but not about these assignments.