So, starting monday, is the better eating of this trying tightrope walker. I've decided that since the decisions I make in life require me to balance stupid items and heavy delicates, I can no longer afford for even my diet to effect my already precarious balancing- not even slightly. Anyway, apparently I'm supposed to be taking this high cholesterol thing seriously...
What has food got to do with the decisions I make and the attitudes I carry? Well firstly, if I can hardly practice self-control with edibles, how can I call upon it like a trained discipline if the discipline, I have not yet trained? Yes, yes, I've watched those "what are we really feeding our children" news episodes where you see a wild child of a rugrat tamed in a week by the feeding of healthy (yet tasty and appealing) foods- and I believed every word of it! So because my week turned a little sour by the end of it and I ate considerable quantities of foods that live in the top sector of the "eat little and infrequently" part of the food pyramid- I've now associated lots of junk food with it ends badly.
I've been a crabby cow this weekend (yeah-try that for a visual! A crab and a cow produced me for this weekend)- and I'm so sorry if you got the rear end of me, i've been foul! I'm so sorry if i've chewed your head a little or wrenched your arm out of it's socket. I'm the hulk of a raging selfish when my fuse is short and frayed- it doesn't help to be surrounded by lovely gorgeous candles...
I'm a fool.
and if your foolish enough to still hang around and be the fool's friend, you deserve an award...and a get out of jail free card.
It's weekends like these we need. They act like glass prisms which refract our white-light mannerisms, separating them into visible intentions: sometimes beautiful, sometimes ugly (most times ugly) intentions.
y'know I despise my hypocrisy. y'know i can see it when i want to. y'know i need you to be brave enough to show me where i've missed.
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