i think it makes sense

& when my very being cried out to him to be held

he whispered "give", he whispered "go".

Unfortunately, the comfortable and the preferable doesn't at all resemble the solutions we wish they were. This weekend was testament to that.

When you're cold and find yourself in the headspace where solitude becomes most familiar, all you want is to be found in the warm and welcoming arms of someone who would understand. So I told him, "I just want to be held, that is all I want while I am here". Yet what would that have achieved but satisfied one (young and selfish) girl's self-prescribed cure? He had intended more, and so sent me to provide that which I felt lacking in my own. He made me focus instead on attending the wounds of others, knowing that in my concentration - awareness of my own uncomforts and splinters would be drawn away from the forefront of my memory.

In my state of exhaustion, I propose my current cure to brokenness.
Apparently the cure to brokenness is the desire to want to put everyone else back together. Because in wanting such- an inevitable belief is conceived that reasons: although my own hands are a little bruised, I can still bandage their wounds. Therefore declaring, "I am not broken enough to be helpless but able enough to help and available because I want that much to", hence our brokenness is hardly a fatal break but an empathy and common ground for understanding. With this in mind, brokenness devolves into an experience and no longer remains a hurting brokenness that complains individual pain; but rather, is stimulated by identifying others in like situations, throbbing memory and itching aggravation into doing something about it.

So my nonsensical tip for the day: when you're feeling mighty broken, find somebody to help. Because in doing so, you distract yourself from your own pain, not to mention how helping heal them helps to heal you or something like that...I need to sleep, I have fifteen things I wrote down that I need to do tomorrow.

Goodnight.
ps: if you're at In Between, I'm here too- think I may be here for a little longer, perhaps we could catch up?